


Leap of Faith

by MrsHamill



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-21
Updated: 2006-06-21
Packaged: 2018-05-21 09:53:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6047248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsHamill/pseuds/MrsHamill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just jump already.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leap of Faith

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a goofy little story about the guys suddenly getting transported to The Slash Dimension and realizing how much more fun it is to be able to fuck like bunnies and have no one care. As to what it ended up being, all I can say is it's frustrating being schizophrenic because I would like to smack my muse silly but that would probably just put me in the hospital. Thanks are not enough to Christi (the magic plot-hole finder), Camille and Nansi for their help and listening to this old broad bitch about this damn story. Bless beta goddesses Linaerys and Diluvian if you like it, but it's my fault if it's unreadable, trust me.

It all started on P4X-990. It was a routine mission where everything had gone fine -- or rather, where nothing had happened. No people, no Wraith, no energy readings, nothing but lots of plant and animal life. It was the third planet on the list the alternate-Elizabeth had given them, but if there had been a ZedPM on it, it was either long gone or destroyed. Rodney knew Sheppard was going to put the planet on their list of possible alpha sites but he was disappointed and bored; once they determined that a ZedPM was nowhere to be found, there had been absolutely nothing for him to do. Which beat running for his life while being shot at, but still.

They finally dialed the 'gate, ready to leave for hot showers and hot dinners, not necessarily in that order. Ford and Teyla strolled through the 'gate as Sheppard hefted a sack of indigenous vegetables destined for the Atlantis kitchens (after a stop at the biology lab). He glanced at Rodney. "Ready?"

"Past ready," Rodney said with a sigh. What was wrong with him that a normal, uneventful mission made him long for something a bit more strenuous? He must be having a nervous breakdown.

He was just about to step through the 'gate when he heard a "Whoa!" from Ford through his radio and saw a surge of... something... pour out of the wormhole. It was almost like the stargate had reactivated while still connected. Sheppard grabbed him by the collar and threw both of them back hard enough to drop them right on their asses. 

"What the fuck--!" Rodney yelled as he fell. That was going to leave one hell of a bruise.

"Ford! Teyla! Report!"

"We are unhurt, Major," came Teyla's reply over the radio, followed by Ford's "What the hell was that?"

"This is Weir, what just happened?"

"I don't know, but we had something weird happen to the stargate on this end. Ford, what happened?"

"I'm not sure, sir," Ford replied. "Uh... have you ever been caught in a riptide then have it spit you out, suddenly?"

The look Sheppard gave Rodney was inscrutable. "Yeah, I have."

"It was kind of like that. Like a powerful surge just booted us out of the stargate, not quite hard enough to make us fall, but it was pretty strong."

"I do not know what a riptide is, Major," Teyla said, "but Lieutenant Ford's description seems appropriate. It was not a pleasant sensation, but it did not seem to do us any harm."

"Rodney--"

"On it!" Rodney interrupted Elizabeth, already getting his tablet out. He knelt, pulling open the DHD access panel. "Don't close the 'gate," he added, "just in case."

"Ford, Teyla, get to the infirmary anyway, have Beckett do a complete scan on you." As he spoke, Sheppard helped Rodney get the panel out of the way. "We've got that what, thirty-eight minutes?"

"Approximately," Rodney murmured, jacking into the DHD, pulling up the diagnostic menu.

"I need a fast scan of them before we try to come through," Sheppard continued.

"I've alerted Carson, and both Teyla and Ford have just left for the infirmary," Elizabeth said over the radio. "Any ideas about what happened?" 

"None whatsoever," Rodney replied. He was distracted by the readings off the DHD, which were strange bordering on impossible. "Not yet, anyway. I can't pull miracles out of my hat instantaneously." Sheppard snorted and Rodney ignored him. "Though it does appear to be on this end. I think."

"Keep me informed," Elizabeth said. "The 'gate remains active for now; keep a sharp eye out for hostiles."

"There's nothing _on_ this planet," Rodney muttered, calling up another subroutine.

"We're covered," Sheppard said and Rodney rolled his eyes.

Twenty minutes later, Rodney was up to his hips in control crystals and becoming increasingly irritable. Sheppard stayed out of his way, thankfully, as did Elizabeth, but it didn't matter much because nothing made sense, something he announced to the world in general every couple of minutes  as something _else_ impossible popped up. 

Carson's voice over the radio almost made him jump. "Major, I've done quick scans on both Lieutenant Ford and Teyla, and they're fine. No anomalies."

"Well, that's good to hear," Sheppard replied. "McKay?"

"Rodney, what do you have?" Elizabeth added.

"There was a massive power surge just after Ford and Teyla emerged in Atlantis, just before we stepped into the event horizon," Rodney said. "It was almost like a second wormhole opened up, on top of or in conjunction with the one we already had open."

"Huh?"

Rodney wished he could be condescending but since he had no explanation for exactly what had happened, he had to let Sheppard's monosyllabic comment pass. "From what I can tell, the origin was on this end, but I have no idea why. And I'm not sure we should close the 'gate, either."

"Explain." Elizabeth had her game-voice on.

"I wish I could," Rodney admitted. "But with what I have available to me here, I can't. It appears to be a problem possibly related to this DHD. If we close down the 'gate, we may not be able to establish another connection to this location. The DHD's crystals are worn and it appears someone tinkered with the original configuration at some point. Since there's no sign of anyone here now, that would have had to have been in the distant past." He glanced at his watch, noting only about twelve minutes remained until the event horizon would collapse on its own.

"Okay, then. How about some thoughts on what we should do?" Sheppard asked. "Is it safe for us to go through?"

Rodney sighed. "I'm not sure. If I had more time and equipment, I'd have a better idea. But we're running out of time and I'd really prefer not to be stranded here."

"And I'd really prefer to remain alive!" Sheppard's voice was angry but Rodney could see the underlying nervousness. 

Rodney gave him a withering look in reply. "And I'd prefer if we both did! But I can't be certain what will happen if we go through."

In the background radio noise from the 'gate room, Rodney could hear Zelenka and Kavanagh yelling at each other. He snorted. Zelenka would understand what he was doing, but he wouldn't trust Kavanagh to pick his own nose, let alone diagnose a problem with a DHD.

"It sounds like we don't have much of a choice," Elizabeth said, finally. "How much time do we have left?"

Rodney glanced at his watch again. "Minus ten minutes."

"John?"

Sheppard looked down at Rodney who shrugged, helplessly. "I agree. We don't have a choice, or much of one. I'm pretty sure I don't want to take the chance of being stranded, especially with McKay." That earned Sheppard a sour look. "I guess we're taking a leap of faith, then. We're coming through."

Nodding, Rodney began unhooking his tablet from the DHD, carefully making sure all was back in the way it had been. "I wish I could be more certain," he muttered. He hated not being able to give definitive, coherent answers.

Sheppard sighed. "So the famous McKay super-brain fails for once. Let's just hope there's really nothing wrong."

"Yes, well." Rodney finished closing up the DHD and stood, gathering his gear, trying to hide his nerves. What if they didn't make it back? If he died in the event horizon, would it be painful?

"You ready?" Sheppard asked.

No, Rodney thought. Aloud he said, "Yeah. I think we should go through together, though. As close to each other as possible."

"You think that'll help?" Sheppard asked with a frown.

Rodney swallowed. He had no idea who might survive or get stranded if they went through separately and got cut off -- the first one to go through or the last one. He'd rather hedge his bets. "I have no idea. But my gut reaction says it might help us. I don't want one of us to get through and have the wormhole collapse on the other."

Sheppard raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Ah. That would be bad."

"Gee, you think?" Rodney glanced around to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. Sheppard tossed his sack of food over his shoulder and they both approached the 'gate. 

"Okay, then, together." 

Rodney wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. "Yeah." He bumped up against Sheppard's side and linked their arms together. "On three? Jump in together?"

"Yeah. Jesus, I feel like we're off to see the Wizard. One. Two. Three!"

Ford said it was something like being pitched out of a riptide -- Rodney had never had that happen to him but he thought it was probably accurate. He and Sheppard were forcefully thrown out of the 'gate  and landed on their knees and hands, giving Rodney matching, front and back bruises. Behind him, he heard the 'gate whoosh shut. "Okay, that was not fun," he muttered.

"You okay, Rodney?" Sheppard struggled to his feet then gave Rodney a hand up.

"My knees are probably ruined, but other than that, I'm fine. You?"

"I'm good. Can we figure out just what happened there?"

Elizabeth hurried down the stairs, followed by Zelenka. "Are you two okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine, I guess. Can we dial that location back?" Sheppard gave his sack to a marine on 'gate duty. "It would make a great alpha site, unless it's going to do that to us every time."

Elizabeth looked up at Peter, who was manning the 'gate controls. "Give it a try, please," she said and he nodded.

They watched as the chevrons chased themselves around the 'gate. All six locked then failed with a whine. Rodney tightened his mouth grimly. "Nothing?"

Peter met his gaze from the balcony. "No. It's no longer a viable address."

"Well that answers that." Rodney exchanged a look with Sheppard. "We got lucky, I think. I need to analyze the data from the DHD on the planet, but I should have some more info for us by tomorrow." He hoped.

"Let's put off the briefing until then. And I want both of you to be checked out, just in case." Elizabeth smiled and her expression was relieved. "I'm glad you both made it; I wouldn't have wanted to deal with the fallout if just one of you had."

"Huh?" Sheppard gave Rodney a confused glance which Rodney returned for a moment before shaking his head. They had much more to worry about than a strange turn of phrase.

* * *

  
Rodney knew it was getting late by the lack of voices in the lab, but he was fascinated by the data coming from the diagnostics he'd run on the planet's DHD. He'd initialized one last sub-routine when the door opened behind him. "McKay?"

Rubbing his eyes -- it must be really late and he'd had an early morning, after all -- Rodney turned. "Major? What are you doing still up?"

"That's what I'd like to talk to you about." Sheppard seemed irate.

"Can it wait? I'd like to go to bed myself shortly."

"No, it can't, and trust me, you wouldn't be able to. Come on."

Rodney rolled his eyes but got up from his stool and locked his workstation. "This had better be important, Major. I'm in the middle of some work on what happened today and would like to make sure it runs smoothly."

"McKay, just shut up for a minute, okay? This is important and it's weird."

Rodney snorted. "We're in the Pegasus galaxy, at war with life-sucking aliens. Everything's weird."

He let himself be pulled down the corridor to the residences. Sheppard stopped before Rodney's door. "Go on, go inside." Sheppard crossed his arms over his chest. He still looked angry but there was something else on his face that might have been fear, and Rodney didn't really like to think about that.

Rodney opened the door to his quarters and stopped, blinking at the room. It was empty. In fact, it looked like his room before he'd moved into it. Not that he had a lot of things anyway, but... "Where's my stuff?"

"Now, go to my room, you know which one it is, right?" 

"Of course I do," Rodney said. "If you think this is a joke--"

"Just go to my room, McKay."

They repeated the same thing at Sheppard's room. It was empty and barren. Sterile, even. Rodney had seen Sheppard's room a couple of times and there had always been things everywhere -- clothing, bits of ancient tech, pottery from the Athosians.

"What the hell?" 

"Yeah, that's what my thought was too. I thought you'd done it at first, or that Ford had done something to tease me. But when I saw your room was empty..." Sheppard turned. "Jack into the systems. Look up what room you're supposed to be in."

They hurried back to the lab where Rodney called up the master quarters list on someone's laptop. He scrolled down to find his name and room designation. "I didn't choose this room," he said, looking up at Sheppard.

"Neither did I. Scroll down."

Rodney did, an icy cold tendril darting down his spine. Sheppard had the same room designation.

"This doesn't..."

"Go look."

Together, they hurried down the corridor in the opposite direction, stopping in front of an unfamiliar door. Rodney opened it and stepped inside to find chaos. Everything from his quarters were in the room, along with everything (presumably) from Sheppard's. That didn't bother him as much as the fact that there was only one, very large, bed. With two big pillows.

"Okay, yes, this is weird. No, this is beyond weird. We are well into the _Twilight Zone_ level of weirdness here."

Sheppard sighed and sat on the end of the bed. "You're telling me. For the past couple of hours I've been trying to figure out who did this and I can't. There's no tracks on it, none. None of the security protocols I put in place--"

"With my help," Rodney interjected.

"With your help," Sheppard acknowledged. "Nothing has been breached. It's like we did this ourselves."

"But we didn't."

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "Obviously, Rodney. We didn't. So who did?"

A huge yawn interrupted Rodney's thought processes. "I'm not sure I could seriously give it any attention at the moment. Too tired, not enough coffee."

Sheppard made a frustrated noise but yawned himself. "Yeah. I'm beat, too. Listen, let me grab a few things and I'll go to my real room, let you have this place until we can get everything moved back." He stood and began searching for clean clothing. "Hey, could this have anything to do--"

"With the 'gate anomaly we went through today? I don't know. Maybe." Rodney reached up and massaged the back of his neck; he always got a crick in it by the end of the day from leaning over his laptop. "Maybe. Probably. Unless this is an elaborate joke."

"If this is a joke, the perpetrator would have come forward by now." Sheppard disappeared into the bathroom. "It's too weird for a practical joke anyway."

"Yeah." Sheppard came out of the bathroom with a small bundle of toiletries. "Thank you, by the way," Rodney continued. "I should be the one moving..."

"Nah, don't worry about it. Get some sleep. We can get some truth serum from Beckett in the morning."

Rodney nodded as Sheppard left. Then he toed off his shoes and just fell on the bed, without undressing. At least it was a comfortable mattress.

* * *

  
It was a good thing Rodney had left his radio in his ear when he'd fallen asleep, since his 'old' alarm clock apparently hadn't made the mysterious move with him to his 'new' quarters.

"McKay, this is Sheppard. McKay?"

"'M up, 'm up," he mumbled. "Timezit?"

"After eight. Good thing my watch was set for an alarm because I have no idea where my clock is."

Rodney sat up and scrubbed his face with his hands. Eww. "Let me get a shower and change. When's the briefing?" 

"Ten-thirty. I'll see you there."

Rodney grunted an affirmative and dragged himself out of bed. One hot shower (the shower stall was different, was bigger, and there were more soaps there) and a couple of cups of coffee later, he was eating his second Powerbar and looking at the results of his last test on the data from the DHD. Some of it was beginning to make some sort of skewed, bizarre sense.  

"Good morning, Rodney."

Zelenka. Rodney waved vaguely in the direction of his voice. 

"Is that the data from...?"

"The 'gate on the planet. Yeah. You have any luck on this end?"

"No. There were no anomalous readings from this end." Well, that made it easier -- sort of, anyway. "Where is Major Sheppard?"

Rodney frowned. "I have no idea. Why?"

"You don't know where he is?" 

Rodney looked up at Zelenka's words. "Of course not. Why should I? Listen, I'm going to shoot some of these results to you. It's not making sense and I don't know why. Maybe a fresh perspective will help."

"Certainly, Rodney," Zelenka said. He was still staring at Rodney with a puzzled expression on his face.

"There you go." Zelenka still didn't move so Rodney snapped his fingers. "Well? What's the problem?"

"Oh. Nothing." Zelenka was still frowning but at least he was paying more attention to his laptop than to Rodney.

By the time of the briefing, Rodney had his whacky results categorized and was ready to discuss them, though he didn't have a clue what they meant, other than a vague sense of... something. As he left the transporter outside the 'gate room, he was hailed by Sheppard.

"What?" 

Sheppard came jogging up to him, doing that thing with his eyes where he looked at whatever he needed to see out of the corner of them. "You need to come to my office for a minute," he said, his voice quiet. Sheppard was really flustered; Rodney had never seen him like that and it was disconcerting. Oddly attractive too, just like everything else about Sheppard, but still disconcerting.

"Does this have to do with--"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Rodney tucked his laptop more firmly under his arm and took another sip of coffee -- he felt the need to be fortified to deal with whatever it was that had Sheppard freaked.

"I didn't notice this last night because it had fallen on top of a bunch of reports. I saw it first thing today, though."

Once in his office, Sheppard handed Rodney a small oblong object, a picture frame. It was a five by seven frame and taped to the glass was a Polaroid snapshot of the two of them.

Rodney and Sheppard. Kissing. Really, really kissing. Sheppard had both hands on Rodney's head and Rodney could almost see where his tongue was halfway down Sheppard's throat. "Oh." He looked up at Sheppard. "It's not a joke."

"Yeah." Sheppard swallowed hard. "That's pretty much what I said."

Something shifted inside Rodney's brain. "Oh. Oh _crap_."

"What?"

"I'm not sure, but I think... I think I've got an idea. I think I know what happened... oh, yeah, this makes some of my results actually comprehensible... I'm going to need more time, though."

"McKay, at least seven people accosted me at breakfast, demanding to know where you were and why you weren't with me. I don't think we've _got_ time. What do you think happened?"

Well, that made what Zelenka said more understandable. "I think... You remember how I said yesterday it was like another wormhole initialized on top of the one we had?"

"Yeah?"

"I think maybe it did, and we're looking at the effects of something along the lines of a spontaneous quantum mirror. When we walked through it, we didn't go through _our_ wormhole, but _their_ wormhole. It put us into a separate reality, a splintered subset of our own." He pointed to the picture. "That reality. Or rather, this reality." A reality where Rodney apparently really enjoyed French kissing and sleeping with John Sheppard.

"This is like what you told Elizabeth about the layered multiple universes, right?" Sheppard looked every bit as alarmed as Rodney was feeling.

"Well, yeah, although the general theory of rel--."

"McKay. Focus. How can we get back?"

"I don't know. I really have no idea, not without more data. It might depend on whether we can dial back to Planet Boring or not, since that's where the splintering occurred. Depending on how it happened, I may or may not be able to recreate it, precisely." He looked up and Sheppard's gaze caught his own. "It's too bad they destroyed the one at Area 51, though we still couldn't use it, since we can't get back to Earth anyway. I, uh, I could get Zelenka started on--"

"Is that a good idea?" Sheppard asked. "I mean, should we come out and tell, say, Elizabeth, we're not from your reality, pardon us while we try to get back to our own?" Rodney hadn't realized it, but they were nearly whispering, even though the door to Sheppard's office was closed.

"Why not? Aren't you being a little paranoid?"

"Being paranoid is how I _live_ , McKay. May I point out how many times that's saved your own ass?"

"Right. Fine. Paranoia." Rodney struggled to keep from hyperventilating. "I can do paranoia. This is like that Star Trek episode where Spock had a beard. I think, anyway."

"Yeah, I remember. And I remember it wasn't a good idea for them to admit it, either."

"But is this the only difference? I mean, if it's just us, then--"

"Weir to Sheppard and McKay, you're late for the briefing." Both of them jumped when Elizabeth's voice came out of their radios.

"Uh, sorry. We'll be right there." Rodney traded a long look with Sheppard before breathing deeply and trying to calm himself. "Let's... just... keep it under our hats for now," Sheppard continued.

"Okay. Okay. I can do that." He hoped.

Perhaps Sheppard had forgotten what a terrible liar Rodney was. Rodney certainly had. But then he always did.

They walked into the briefing room as if everything were normal and they weren't completely freaked out. Rodney took his usual spot and Sheppard took his, opposite, and it was a few moments before Rodney realized everyone in the room was looking at them, speechless. "What?"

Teyla was the one to speak, in a hesitant voice. "Is... everything all right between you, Dr. McKay, Major Sheppard?"

"Fine, we're fine," Sheppard said. He had a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face and Rodney suddenly realized what was wrong and desperately wished for telepathic communication.

"Let's just get going, can we?" Rodney said, trying to be unobtrusive as he sent Sheppard a message in eyebrow that said _we're not sitting together, moron!_

"Of course," Elizabeth said, still looking between them with an odd expression on her face. "I know from the verbal report that the ZPM wasn't there, which is a big disappointment, but we've still got two worlds to go. What have you found about yesterday's problem, Rodney?"

And oh, shit, why had he asked to get going? Because now he was going to have to talk about his weird results. "Well, ah... I've actually got Zelenka going over some of the stranger results, but, ah, at the moment, I'm going to have to say, I mean, there's a possibility that... with the damage to the DHD on the planet and... and..."

"It's what you just told me, isn't it?" Sheppard said, blessed Sheppard, coming to his rescue. He could almost kiss the man for that. Almost. "That it looks something like a spontaneous quantum mirror, but you're not sure?"

"Yes! That's it. I mean, some of the data indicate a... a... split, a possible fracture in the fabric of this or other realities. The... the... 'gate it, well, in essence there was another wormhole, belonging to a separate reality or maybe several separate realities laid in sequence on top of it, something that follows the many-layered universe model of quantum superposition. Which doesn't accurately describe the phenomena but that's the way it can be described in layman's terms, since the math is regarding quantum superposition is..." Aware he was babbling, Rodney forced himself to stop, trying to keep his wince internal.

"A quantum mirror? Like the one in Area 51? That's not safe! And what does that mean for us?" Elizabeth said, and now she was looking downright alarmed.

"No, no, not one that is controllable, this would have been spontaneous and possibly one-way. And I'm not sure that's exactly what happened, since a lot of the data I retrieved from the planet's DHD are incomplete. We... we can't dial the planet back, because the DHD there... wait." Rodney blinked hard as the thought occurred to him. "If we could get back there, somehow, in a jumper, which has its own DHD built in to it..."

"We could use it to get back. But how do we get there?" From the look on Sheppard's face, Rodney could tell he knew where the thought was going. _They might be able to get back to their own reality._ "We can't dial the 'gate from here."

"Maybe from another 'gate? Somewhere else?" Rodney was frantically typing notes, trying to get through the mess of data to determine if the problem was related to the connection between Atlantis' DHD and the planet's. Or would every DHD have the same problem? There were too many variables!

"Okay, let me see if I'm following you," Elizabeth said slowly. "We can't dial--" she looked at her notes with a frown-- "P4X-990 from here, but we might be able to from another stargate? Are you sure?"

"No, I'm not," Rodney said, distracted by the data. "We'd have to test it. And we'd have to do that from a jumper, because the DHD there is non-functional, apparently."

"But we were initializing the 'gate from here," Sheppard said in a maddeningly normal voice. "Wouldn't we get the same result from any 'gate we go to?"

"Yes, yes, in our world that's the case, but the theory... there are so many variables not even I can keep them straight. It could well have been a problem between the two DHDs, rather than a problem merely with the 'gate on that planet. The physics are way over everyone's head so I won't go into them here, but we need to test it."

Rodney glanced up as he finished speaking. Ford looked bored, Teyla looked confused, Elizabeth seemed happier for some reason, and Sheppard had a gleam in his eye that Rodney knew was mirrored in his own -- they might be able to get back. Back to their own reality and away from this one, from Planet Gay. Not that there was anything wrong with that, and Rodney even recalled a few masturbatory fantasies featuring Sheppard -- but that was early on, before Rodney realized he didn't have the right equipment to garner Sheppard's attention. Though that never stopped Sheppard flirting with him... at least he thought it was flirting. Whatever. They could get back to normal, blessed, blessed normal.

"Sounds like it, then. Put together a team--"

"I think Rodney and I can handle that," Sheppard interrupted her. "It's just a test. We'll take a jumper to a neutral planet, try to get to P4whatever, and if it doesn't work, we'll come straight home." And if it does work, Rodney added in his head, we'll _really_ go home.

Elizabeth looked suspicious, but nodded. "All right, but I want you to take all safety precautions. Go through the 'gate cloaked and stay that way until you come back. Clear?"

"Yes, certainly, okay, that's fine," Rodney said, babbling again, dammit.

"I've got some manpower reports to run but I'll meet you in the jumper bay in an hour and a half. That good for you, Mc-- Rodney?" Sheppard looked almost as nervous as Rodney felt.

"Fine. Yeah. I need to talk to Zelenka anyway, see what progress he's made." Rodney closed his laptop and fled the briefing room.

* * *

  
"Where are we going?" Rodney said as he sat in the co-pilot's chair.

"M65-393."

"Isn't that the place where it gets hot--"

"It's night, there. And we're not leaving the jumper." Sheppard was being even less talkative than usual. In fact, he looked downright dour.

Sheppard dialed the gate, the jumper descended to the gateroom and smoothly accelerated through the 'gate, cloaking immediately. It was indeed night. The stargate was on a small hill covered with short vegetation sloping gently down from it. 

Sheppard put them down and turned to Rodney. "Dial the planet and cross your fingers."

Holding his breath, Rodney dialed the address to Planet Boring, closing his eyes for the last chevron, saying a prayer to anyone or anything listening. 

The DHD beeped. Not a viable address. Rodney slumped.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Sheppard lifted off again, heading away from the 'gate. "Where are you going?"

"There's a cliff overlooking the ocean over there. I just need... time to think."

Well, yeah. Would it help to try from another world? Probably not, Rodney thought; two 'gates were not a statistical universe but it was quite telling. Perhaps if he researched the addresses in the Ancient's database, correlating the addresses to nearby star systems...

"I've got something to show you," Sheppard said as they flew to the cliffs. He fished a flash drive out of his pocket and handed it to Rodney. "Video. Take a look."

Rodney opened his laptop and plugged in the flash drive. He opened the first of four video files on the drive, recognizing it immediately as security camera .mov files. It showed the gateroom on a normal busy day but that's probably not why Sheppard made the copy. He saw the two of them, talking with Elizabeth and Peter. They were laughing over something and were pressed so closely together daylight couldn't get between them.

The second file had them in the mess hall, getting up to leave after eating. As they dropped off their trays, Sheppard grabbed him -- grabbed Rodney Prime, Rodney snarled to himself -- and kissed him. It wasn't a little peck on the cheek, either. No one in the room even glanced up.

The third file was the gateroom again, they were running back through the 'gate, firing behind them. A Wraith stunner zipped through the 'gate before the shield went up, striking Sheppard in the leg. Rodney remembered that day, remembered what had happened. But in the video, Rodney Prime went down with Sheppard, broke his fall, cradled him while yelling something, yelling for Carson, probably. When that file ended, Rodney loaded the last one in morbid curiosity. The gateroom again, the two of them walking in, holding hands. Holding _hands_? Kissing in public? Sheesh.

"Christ, it's like we're-- they're joined at the hip," Rodney muttered.

While he'd been watching the video, Sheppard had put the jumper down on the edge of the cliff. The view was spectacular -- three small moons chasing each other across a perfectly beautiful sky and Rodney didn't see any of it, not really. He kept seeing himself, the other Rodney, kissing Sheppard, touching Sheppard, being touched by Sheppard.

"Do you think we've got a hope in hell of getting back to our own reality?" Sheppard finally asked.

Rodney sighed. "I don't know. I really don't. It would help if I knew better how we got here in the first place, but to do that, we'd have to get back to that damn planet." He frowned at Sheppard. "Are there any other differences here? I mean, other than us?"

"Well, there's the fact that Elizabeth seems to have something going with Teyla. And the Genii never tried to take over during the storm, either. Oh, and Gaul is still alive, but Kusanagi died a month ago and Bates lost some years from a Wraith attack, but he's still working."

"Teyla and _Elizabeth_? What the hell is this? Is this the gay reality or something?"

"You'd know better than I would, McKay," Sheppard replied, terse even for him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you'd know better than I would! You're the fucking genius, figure out a way to get us back!"

"No pressure!" They both crossed their arms and looked out the forward port. 

This was just untenable. It was ridiculous. There _had_ to be a way to get back, to be themselves again, back to... to...

"Were you flirting with me?"

Sheppard gave him an incredulous look.

"I mean, at first. When we first got to Atlantis. We used to, you know, have this... this..."

" _Flirting_?"

"Dynamic. Yeah. I mean, I always thought it was... I mean, I reacted..."

"And this has anything at all to do with our situation?"

"Well, if we're going to be stuck here," Rodney started then winced. "That really didn't come out the way I wanted it to."

Sheppard rolled his eyes and looked as though he really wanted to say something, but he remained mercifully silent.

"We could always break up."

Now the look Sheppard gave him rivaled Teyla at her most disdainful. 

"You know, tell everyone that we broke up." Rodney nodded, it might actually work. "That way, when we moved back into our real quarters, no one would think anything of it."

"And no one would think it weird that we still worked together, still had movie nights, poker nights, still _flirted_ with each other..." When Sheppard said flirted, he cocked his fingers in the air.

Rodney glared. "Yes. And?"

"I'm just saying, McKay, it might not be a cakewalk." He frowned again but directed it out the window. "Actually, I can't figure out why he allows you on his team," he said slowly.

"Huh?"

"Look. He -- I -- I'm your commanding officer, when we're off-world. You're my team member. You don't fuck one of your team members. Despite it being specifically forbidden in the regs, it leads to all kinds of problems. What if I had to make the choice between carrying out the mission or saving your life? You see?"

Now it was Rodney's turn to frown. "Huh. You know, there was an episode of _Deep Space Nine_ that talked about that, I think. Husband and wife on the same team, the same mission."

"I hated that show."

Rodney's jaw dropped. "You must be joking. That was the best of the franchise!"

"No, _Voyager_ was."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Though I shouldn't be surprised _you'd_ like it, given it was the 'six of nine' show for a good part of it."

"Seven of-- for the love of... can we maybe stay on topic, McKay?"

"You started it."

"I can not believe you. I don't know how he took you to bed without shooting you first!"

"Hey! I'll have you know I have an excellent reputation--"

"Right, Rodney McKay, the stud muffin."

If looks could kill, Sheppard would be reduced to ash in his seat. "Just because _you're_ not my type--"

"I think I've realized that I don't have breasts, McKay."

"No, you're not blond! Sexuality is a myth. But I don't exactly go for guys who run around wearing dead black cats on their heads!"

Sheppard glared at him. "Did it ever occur to you that _you're_ not _my_ type?"

"I don't know why not; after all, I'm a breathing, carbon-based life form, aren't I?" Sheppard opened his mouth to add a cutting remark but a sudden thought brought Rodney up short. "Wait, wait... the regs. You're military, U.S. military. Aren't there regulations against you being in a homosexual relationship?"

That derailed whatever Sheppard was going to say. What came out instead was, "Um... yeah. Sorta. But McKay, three-quarters of the grunts in all branches are at least bi, given the right opportunity. It's kind of an open secret." He looked thoughtful. "Though openly sharing living quarters--"

"Not to mention kissing," Rodney interjected.

"--Not to mention kissing in public... yeah. That would be a bit over the top. Hmm." Sheppard turned back to the window. "I'll have to check, I guess."

"Even though this is hardly Kansas, and we're technically a civilian mission, you're ranking military. You've got to keep Marines in line." Rodney frowned, trying to puzzle it out. "But no one seemed to care, at least in the security vids you showed me."

Sheppard rubbed his forehead. "God, I'm getting such a headache."

"Welcome to my nightmare."

They sat in silence for a long time, watching the last moon set. The sky off to their left was getting gradually lighter, bringing dawn and scorching temps. And they'd have to go back to Atlantis sooner or later: there was no putting it off.

Finally, Rodney sighed. "I think we should tell Elizabeth."

Sheppard took a deep breath and blew it out slowly before nodding. "Yeah."

* * *

  
When they came back through the stargate, Elizabeth's voice met them before they brought the jumper back to the bay. "I need the two of you in my office five minutes ago," was all she said. They looked at each other and shrugged, resigned to their fate.

Zelenka and Carson were also in her office. "Gentlemen, we need to talk about what happened yesterday, and I'm not looking for Rodney McKay camouflage technobabble. The truth, please." 

Rodney looked at Sheppard, who shrugged. Rodney spared him a mild glare before starting. "Okay, fine. We're not... we're--"

"You're not 'our' Sheppard and McKay, are you?" Zelenka's eyes were narrow as he looked between them.

"No." Rodney offered him a weak grin. "Figured it out?"

"A quantum singularity, caused by a power fluctuation of unusual size and indeterminate origin."

Rodney took heart in the fact that none of them looked ready to have them for lunch but was mildly pissed that Zelenka figured it out before he did. "Yeah. I'm impressed, you actually got it before I did... We only put two and two together this morning. In my defense, I was rather busy. And tired. Very tired."

"After not sleeping together, not rising together, not eating together." Zelenka was nodding and ignoring his defense.

"I slept in my... I mean, down the hall." Rodney had never heard Sheppard's voice so tentative.

Elizabeth's face was a professional mask. "When were you planning on telling us?"

"Just now, in fact. After we tried to get back." Zelenka opened his mouth but Rodney cut him off. "It didn't work. We tried to dial from another address, but got the same results. Obviously the damage to the DHD was significant enough to make the stargate there all but useless. From the data I recorded, it might have been the damage to the DHD which rendered the 'gate useless, but we can't know for certain."

"Could a jumper fly to the planet from a different, working stargate?" It was the first time Carson had spoken and Rodney was relieved to hear no acrimony in his voice.

"Nearest 'gate is eight light years away," Zelenka said. "Several hundred years by jumper."

Rodney took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"And it has to be from that planet?" Elizabeth asked.

Zelenka looked at Rodney; both shrugged. "That's an unknown," Zelenka said and Rodney let him take the lead for once; he'd done good work on the diagnostics, almost as good as what Rodney could have done. "The general theory of relativity describes such events, but we have no way of knowing how to create them. Perhaps if we could determine the reason for it in the first place, but to do that... we'd have to go back to the planet, recreate the environment precisely..." Zelenka shrugged again.

"So I take it that there's no way to get 'our' John and Rodney back, if there's no way for you two to get back." Elizabeth still had a blank, careful face on.

"I'm not even sure we could trade us for them," Rodney said, and Zelenka nodded.

"They may get back and ours never return," he said. "It may not have been a direct swap, either. There's no way of knowing where 'our' people are, even."

"Layered universe theory," Rodney said morosely.

"Yes." Zelenka gave him a small, sympathetic smile.

"The waveform is going to collapse, probably sooner rather than later. It may already have done so." Rodney could tell John was studying him but preferred to look at Zelenka.

"Yes," Zelenka repeated. He looked sad.

Elizabeth nodded. "Well, I think I can speak for all of us here when I say I'm not really willing to lose both of you, especially if we don't know we'll get our versions of you back." 

Something tight in Rodney's chest relaxed at her words. They should have told her immediately. Well, they had. After a fashion.

"While that's gratifying to know, Elizabeth," Sheppard drawled, "it doesn't really do anything for our problem, which is that we are not a couple."

"A couple of what?" Carson murmured under his breath. When Rodney glared at him, he unsuccessfully hid his smile.

"I think we've figured that out," Elizabeth said, not without humor. "Are there any other big differences here, from what you're used to?"

"Some... minor things. Nothing major that I can tell, anyway."

"We still don't have a ZedPM and the Wraith are still out there," Rodney elaborated.

"Yes, unfortunately true on both accounts." She sighed. "I think we're honor-bound to help you two find your way back to your home reality, though perhaps not at the expense of losing you both here." Her lips turned up in a wry twist. "You drive me crazy at times, but there's no denying we wouldn't have gotten as far as we have without both of you. In the meantime... we'll just lie low. If someone asks, by all means, tell them, but otherwise, this is no one's business but yours. Though you might want to tell Ford and Teyla, if Teyla hasn't figured it out already." 

She looked from Zelenka to Rodney before continuing. "Definitely continue your research to see if there's a way to get them back, but don't put it under a high priority. We've got too many other things we need done, unfortunately. I think you two know that best of all."

Rodney glanced at Sheppard, who was studying the toes of his boots. No help there. "I... I understand. And it's not so bad here, there really isn't that much difference."

They all breathed easier, it seemed, and Zelenka patted Rodney's arm. "We'll do what we can," he said, and Rodney gave him a crooked smile. It really wasn't so bad, was it? Pretty much everything was the same.

Carson pushed off the wall. "I need to be back," he said. He gripped Rodney's shoulder once, tightly, and Rodney nodded, glad to know he had Carson's support. "Come and get me when you're done, love," he said, speaking over Rodney's shoulder.

To Rodney's shock, Zelenka replied. "I will, _miláčku_ , and you'd best be ready to quit when I do."

As Carson and Zelenka left, Rodney muttered, "Oh my God, it really is the gay continuum."

"I thought sexuality was a myth, Rodney," Sheppard said in his most snide tone.

Rodney gave him a withering glare. "Oh, your razor-like wit continues to slay me."

"Yeah, well, not enough, I'm thinking..."

As they walked out, Rodney heard Elizabeth mutter quietly, "They certainly _sound_ like our guys..." He didn't think she meant it to be overheard. Rodney just hoped Sheppard hadn't.

* * *

  
Rodney buried himself in his work for the rest of the day. All the same experiments, the same problems he'd had in his 'home' reality were still here, in his new reality. The universe turned and the Wraith kept everyone hopping and there were always more things to do.

Except he couldn't keep his mind on his work. He kept thinking about Sheppard, about the videos, about the picture. He still had Sheppard's flash drive plugged into his laptop and he copied the files over to his hard drive before removing it. When no one was watching, he'd look at the videos, especially the one of them in the mess hall. They'd been talking over their table before they stood, and Rodney could almost read his own lips, could tell what he was saying to Sheppard. Something about finding another place to sleep? Were they having a fight, perhaps, or a fake one, and Rodney was being snide? 

"What is that from?"

Somehow, Zelenka had managed to sneak up behind Rodney, who started to slam his laptop lid down but stopped, sighed and rolled his eyes. Busted. "Something Ma-- Sheppard gave me. When we were trying to figure out what was going on."

"Ah. Security camera footage, isn't it?"

"Yes." Rodney closed the file and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Might as well go for broke. "When did... I mean, Sheppard and me. When did we get, you know, together?"

Zelenka took the stool next to Rodney. The lab was not really crowded, only a few other scientists there who were studiously ignoring the both of them. "It was after we got here, of course, you did not know each other before. Yes?"

"No, we didn't. We met in Antarctica."

"I remember that personal shield you'd found. I didn't see it, but apparently you and Major Sheppard had quite a bit of fun with it." Zelenka smiled. "He shot you."

"Yeah, in the leg." Rodney had to smile at the memory. Sheppard had been like a kid in a candy store, suggesting wilder and wilder things for Rodney to do, all in the name of 'science.' In fact, that was the time when he first realized that Sheppard might have been flirting with him. "Oh." He blinked.

"It was soon after that when we realized you and he were almost always together. Carson and I, well," Zelenka actually had the grace to look abashed as he continued, "we had a small wager going on the two of you. When you would move in together."

"You _bet_ on... on..."

"Yes. I won. In more ways than one, as well." 

Zelenka was actually blushing and Rodney had to refrain from saying a cutting remark. Good God almighty, what was _with_ this universe? Even as he had the thought, his stomach dropped. _Was_ everyone gay here? What about his sister? What about Samantha, and Daniel, and... "This is so incredibly strange," he murmured.

"I don't see it as that," Zelenka said earnestly. "From the way you've been acting, it was not only you and Major Sheppard. Carson and I..."

"Sheppard said something about Elizabeth and Teyla," Rodney murmured with a nod.

"But not all of us are involved in a homosexual relationship. Sergeant Stackhouse has been seeing Dr. Cooper and we recently helped Simpson move in with LaFonte."

"But that's just it, it's not just homosexual relationships, it's relationships." Rodney felt his hands start to wave but didn't censor them. "We're in the middle of the Pegasus galaxy, with no way to get home, no way to get reinforcements from Earth, and life-sucking alien vampires hell-bent on killing us. There's not only no _time_ for a relationship in all that, it's badly misplaced to begin with."

Zelenka was shaking his head. "No, my friend, you're wrong. That's when a relationship is more precious than anything else." He shoved his glasses up on his nose. "When you are at your most frightened, that's when you need the strength of a lover all the more. Someone to lean on." Rodney had to turn away from the truth shining from Zelenka's eyes. "We were all so glad for you, and him as well. And he is so good for you." Zelenka blinked. "Was so good for you, I mean," he said. He pursed his lips and sighed. 

Rodney had no idea what to say to that, none at all. He just felt flooded with a vague sense of disappointment, of opportunities missed.

* * *

  
It had been a long day and it wasn't over yet. On his way to dinner in the mess, Rodney made the mistake of going to his 'real' quarters before remembering the shared quarters Rodney Prime and Sheppard Prime inhabited. He was really going to have to move out of there and back into his room, but the thought of it was exhausting. When he opened the door to the larger suite, he was surprised to find Sheppard sitting on the end of the big bed. "Oh. I forgot..."

"Yeah, I did too." Sheppard rubbed his head, making his hair stand up even worse than it had been. "I came to pick up a few more things and got... sidetracked."

"Huh?"

With a sigh, Sheppard looked up and met his gaze. "Go look in the drawer next to the bed. Either side."

He was really going to have to stop that habit of automatically following Sheppard's requests. Every single time it led to something he didn't want to see, didn't want to know. This time, it was a large box of condoms and a huge tube of sexual lubricant -- which was mostly empty. "Oh."

"Yeah. I guess we know what they were doing," Sheppard said. His voice sounded tired and resigned and his shoulders were slumped. Rodney knew how he felt, because it was mirrored in himself. 

Rodney dropped down onto what was clearly _his_ side of the bed, from the looks of the things scattered around him. He remembered sleeping there the previous night, his head on a pillow that carried the scent of whatever it was Sheppard put on his hair to make him look like a hedgehog with an afro. 

Extra soaps in the shower, extra bottles in the bathroom. Two toothbrushes, one tube of toothpaste.

"Apparently, they got together just after the... the dark energy-eating thing. That's what Zelenka said." It was easier to think of the two men who had inhabited the suite as 'them' instead of 'us' because 'us' made Rodney's chest hurt. 

Sheppard nodded. "Yeah. I remember that." There was a faint smile on his face.

Rodney sighed. "This isn't fair to you. I'll gather up some things and go to my real room, and you can have it tonight."

"It's not a big deal, McKay."

"Well, it is in the sense that we're going to have to break our backs to move all this stuff out. I don't even know what some of it _is_."

"Well, a lot of it is mine, and yeah, it's going to take a while to--"

"Major Sheppard?" It was Peter on the radio.

Sheppard touched his earbud. "This is Sheppard."

"Could you come to the gateroom? Stackhouse just missed his hourly check-in."

"On my way. Sheppard out." Sheppard didn't look at Rodney at all as he rose and twisted in a way that told Rodney he had a stiff neck or sore shoulder. Without saying anything, he walked out the door, letting it close behind him. 

Rodney sighed again. The entire situation was making him massively depressed, and that was no way to operate. He was the chief scientist of Atlantis, one of the three people in command of the entire mission, and he couldn't--

The door flew open again and Sheppard stood there, looking pissed and resolved and nervous all at the same time. "Okay, _yes_ , I was flirting with you. You were weird -- you _are_ weird -- and goofy and funny and scarily brilliant at times and yes, you hit several of my buttons, especially when you started getting in better shape but no, I never expected it to go anywhere because -- look around! -- we're in the goddamn Pegasus galaxy and cut off from Earth and have these life-sucking alien vampires with bad skin trying to kill us and why would anyone in their right _minds_ start a relationship with all that going on not to mention the whole gay thing in the U.S. military as well?!"

Rodney just blinked at Sheppard, stunned. It was probably the longest single thing Sheppard had ever said to him, and he had no clue whatsoever how to respond to it.

Luckily for him, he didn't need to. The alarm klaxon went off and Peter's voice came over radio. "Unscheduled off-world 'gate activation!"

* * *

  
So, of course, Stackhouse's team came in hot and missing two team members. Stackhouse himself had been shot and nearly bled out in the jumper, which was going to take a long time to clean. Sheppard had his team suit-up and went to retrieve the missing marine and the missing botanist, taking Bates and Miller along with them. What with one thing after another, they missed dinner altogether and returned to Atlantis far on the other side of midnight, but returned alive and with no casualties and with the missing team members to boot.

Elizabeth put off the briefing off until the morning, though she required Sheppard to give her a quick run-down before allowing him to leave the gateroom. Rodney just stumbled to the suite, dropping his vest and weapon and radio in a heap and flopping on the bed, too tired to even turn off the lights. 

Just as he was dropping off, he heard the door open and knew it was Sheppard. "Just lay down, we'll sort it out tomorrow," he mumbled. It wasn't like the bed wasn't plenty big enough.

From the sounds of it, Sheppard was doing substantially what Rodney had done with his gear. Then the mattress dipped and he heard Sheppard sigh as he stretched out. "You'd better not snore," he muttered, and that was the last thing Rodney remembered for the night.

Then, of course, they were woken up at oh-fucking-early by another crisis, this one in the science division. Kavanagh (why was it _always_ Kavanagh? And why weren't any of them fatal?) had initialized a subroutine which was apparently related to the inertial dampers in place in the city itself, drawing far too much power from their naquadah generators and nearly causing an overload. As it was a subroutine Rodney himself had used in the past he couldn't blame the twit, but it took them most of a day to figure out what had changed and to change it back. 

Before they'd quite recovered from that, Miller ran into the Wraith on a routine mission to an established trading partner, which necessitated another rescue. Rodney wanted badly to get to the last two planets on Elizabeth's list but it didn't look like it was going to happen any time soon, and in fact, neither he nor Sheppard even had time to move out of the suite -- Rodney was nearly sleeping at his workstation in the lab and from the looks of it, Sheppard was just dropping on the bed when he couldn't stand up any longer. 

The room became increasingly messy as they added more stuff to the chaos already there. 

Once or twice Rodney would be taking a shower, trying to wake himself up for another round of spot-the-physics-error when Sheppard would walk into the bathroom with a burst of cooler air. Neither of them spoke at those times, just went about their business as if nothing was wrong and it was perfectly normal for Sheppard to be in the same bathroom as Rodney when Rodney was showering.

Just as things began to slow down (for the command staff anyway, the science division was still reeling from one crisis to another), Rodney staggered into one of the labs. He had been heading to his bed to try and sleep but he'd forgotten something, a sub-routine he needed to initialize so he'd have the data when he finally woke. He knew it would bother him until he started it so he came back. He hit the door and froze; Sheppard was in the lab, talking to Zelenka.

"...Really bothering me," Sheppard was saying quietly. Rodney stayed back, around the corner, and listened. "You don't leave men behind and I can't stop thinking about 'your' Sheppard and McKay, whether they're trying to get back here, to their own reality."

Zelenka sighed. "I understand, but John, you need to know that they may never return here, even if you find your way back to your 'home' reality."

Sheppard made a frustrated noise. "We can't just... find our way back to that planet and recreate the accident?"

"Probably not. Let me try to explain. You understand the principle of uncertainty? Schrödinger's cat?"

"That's the guy who put a cat in a box and claimed it both existed and didn't at the same time, right?"

"In essence. It's a thought experiment. Put a cat in a box. There is a gun in the box and whether or not the gun is fired is predicated on a completely random event. Dr. Schrödinger said that the cat exists as a waveform, neither dead nor alive, until the box is opened." That was a pretty good layman's explanation, Rodney thought grudgingly. "What has happened to you two is similar, except when we opened the box, the cat was neither dead nor alive. It was gone."

There was silence in the room for quite a while and Rodney almost made himself walk in. Just as he was about to, he heard Sheppard speak again. "I don't... I'm not sure I follow you."

"Quantum mechanics is all about probability. Superposition in quantum mechanics merely makes the probability factors that much more difficult to calculate. It is through this quantum superposition that we come to the multi-layered universe theory, which tells us there are uncountable universes, realities, one half step away from ours, but there is no way to get to them, not yet, anyway. And I do not believe the Ancients knew how to get to them either. Or, perhaps they did and realized what a horrible mistake it would be to make the attempt."

"So, if we went back to the planet..."

"We might be able to create a similar 'accident' but even if it got you to your 'home' reality, there is nothing that says our John and Rodney would come back here." Zelenka sounded sad but his voice was firm. Rodney closed his eyes. "And there are two other factors to consider."

"Which are?"

"The first goes back to uncertainty. It has been observed that the waveform -- whether or not the cat is alive -- has a propensity to collapse, one way or the other, within roughly forty-eight hours. You have been here far longer than that. The second is... well. From the data Rodney was able to gather from the DHD, I believe that the power surge was so strong that it burnt out the stargate itself, not just the DHD." Zelenka hesitated before continuing. "It is my own theory that something went very wrong in _this_ reality, as our Rodney and John came through the 'gate. I believe that the power surge may well have killed them and you two were sucked into this reality to fill the void."

Sheppard said, "Christ," in a tiny voice and Rodney turned and fled.

* * *

  
Six days after moving into the gay continuum (as Rodney persisted in calling it in his brain), things finally evened out and Rodney actually got a full night's worth of sleep, crashing before he'd had dinner. He was so exhausted he hadn't even noticed that Sheppard was already asleep on the bed before him, and didn't wake even though Sheppard must have risen and taken a shower while Rodney was asleep.

He woke to someone jogging his shoulder gently. "Rodney."

"Hmm?" He cracked open his eyes and saw Sheppard crouched next to his side of the bed. His hair was wet and sticking up all over the place. "Wha? What's wrong?"

Sheppard smiled. "Nothing, for a change. You got a good night's sleep -- ten hours by my watch -- and now it's time to get up and eat breakfast."

"S'okay," Rodney mumbled into his pillow. God save him from morning people. "I'll get coffee and a powerbar later."

"No, you're not." Rodney cracked one eye open and glared, but it bounced right off Sheppard's smile. "You eat for shit, McKay. You're getting up and getting a decent breakfast for a change. Shock your system up. C'mon."

Rodney sighed and tried to ignore Sheppard, but apparently that tactic didn't work. "Up, Rodney. Good breakfast, with coffee. A little bird told me there's waffles today."

Sighing again, feeling altogether too put-upon for words, Rodney managed to grumble his way out of bed and into the bathroom, thinking if he got into the shower, maybe Sheppard would go away. He  definitely felt better for the sleep and his blood sugar was quite low, so eating something more than a Powerbar (waffles? really?) was actually a pretty good idea. When he got out of his quick shower, he walked out into the suite with a towel around his hips to find Sheppard sitting on the bed, staring at something in his hands that looked like a combination of Lego and a Rubik's cube.

"I have no idea what this is," he was saying with a frown. "It was on my side of the..."

Rodney was frozen into place. For some reason he hadn't considered that Sheppard would still be in the suite when he came out of the shower, and so had neglected to take any clothes in with him. If he even _had_ any clean clothes. When Sheppard looked up he froze as well and his eyes grew big, so apparently he hadn't been expecting Rodney to come out of the shower dressed in nothing but a towel either.

Swallowing hard, Rodney tried for nonchalant. He was a guy, Sheppard was a guy, what was a little nudity between guys? It wasn't like he had anything that Sheppard hadn't seen before, after all. Turning, he began searching in the chest of drawers for some clean underwear. "I saw Kusanagi playing with that months ago. Check with her--" Rodney stopped and closed his eyes. Sheppard couldn't check with Kusanagi because in this reality, she was dead. "Sorry." He found some boxers that didn't look ready to move on their own and yanked them out of the drawer with perhaps more force than was necessary.

"Maybe that's why I have it," Sheppard said softly. "She died on a mission with us, you know."

"No I didn't know." He hadn't checked anywhere for differences, hadn't had time to, he found the whole thing depressing and was beginning to get depressed about being depressed. Dropping the towel, he pulled on the shorts and went hunting for a shirt. "We -- I need to get some laundry done."

"Today would be a good day to do it; Elizabeth has declared this another Sunday." 

Periodically, especially after harrowing days (or weeks), Elizabeth would simply declare it Sunday and give everyone the day off -- as much as possible, anyway. The marines would usually run a day-long pick-up basketball or football game on the east pier and the scientists would sleep or devise elaborate practical jokes on each other, which usually ended up with half the division soaked for some reason. There would be movies (that everyone had seen a hundred times) or other entertainment. Rodney wondered idly what the differences were between his original reality and this one. He was willing to bet there wasn't much difference at all.

"Maybe after breakfast, then," Rodney said, pulling his pants on and digging out his shoes. Making today a Sunday was really a very good idea.

"We could..." Sheppard trailed off but Rodney made sure to be working on the knot in his shoelaces and not looking up at all. "I mean, it might be a good time to... move. You know. Back."

"Well." Yes, they could do that. The knot came free and Rodney tugged his shoes on, tied them and stood. "Breakfast?"

Sheppard gave him a crooked grin. "Sounds good." 

They walked out of the suite together and headed for the mess hall. "By the way, I meant to tell you. I looked up the regs," Sheppard said, and Rodney frowned.

"The regs?"

"Yeah. The other day, while I was waiting for Carson to do that pathology report on the villager who died, I went through the armed forces regulations about homosexual partnerships." Ah. That's right, Rodney had wondered about that. "Turns out it's not a problem at all." Rodney could almost hear Sheppard's eyes roll. "The senator from my state is gay, living with his longtime 'spouse' and raising two kids together. The secretary of defense is living with both a woman and a man. You know Dr. Jackson, right?" Rodney nodded as his world wobbled under his feet. "His lover is General Jack O'Neill, the guy I took to the Antarctic base, where I met you. So it looks like you were right, this is the gay continuum." Sheppard gave him a look out of the corner of his eyes. "Isn't that what you called it?"

Rodney snorted. "Of all the realities..."

"In all the worlds, we had to walk into this one." John chuckled and Rodney thought he'd pay to hear that sound again. More often.

"I could use a gin joint right now, I think, or even just a regular joint." 

Sheppard snorted at Rodney's words. "Me first. Why do you think this reality is so much more lenient than ours?"

"Don't look at me," Rodney snapped. "Talk to Ashwani. He's the cultural anthropologist." Then they arrived at the mess hall and there were, indeed, waffles. With the last of the real maple syrup. 

Rodney and Sheppard sat together at a table off to one side. Rodney simply shoveled food in his mouth and watched everyone else in the room. Couples were everywhere -- it seemed everyone was paired up with at least one person. There was laughter, camaraderie, happiness all over the room, and even when it was tinged with exhaustion or sadness it was still better than what he remembered. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and finished the last of his coffee.

"McKay?" Sheppard was looking at him with concern in his eyes. "You okay?"

How the hell could he answer that? "You said... you said the other day, why had he even put me on his team, remember? That it was against the regs, against common sense, basically." Rodney swallowed again, harder, trying to keep the emotions inside. "I know how he could do that, that part's easy. What I don't know is how I even allowed myself to... to... be with you, to care, when it could end, all at once, any second. When I could turn around and you'd be gone, or dying, or worse, and I don't know how... don't know how I could..."

"I do." Sheppard looked sad and wise and strong and Rodney wanted to find hope in those eyes, in that steady gaze. "I know the answer to both, now. It's a leap of faith, Rodney, that's all it is. He took that leap knowing he could fall, but aware he..." Sheppard looked away, looked for words. "Aware it was worth the risk. All of it."

"You can't know that."

"Yes, I can. And I do." They stared at each other across the divide of a plastic table and years of loneliness and pain. "This place, this reality, it's better than we ever had in ours and you know it. It doesn't take a genius to figure out people are happier here, even with a death toll as large if not larger than what we had." Across the room, Carson (who was sitting with Zelenka and two other people) cut loose with a belly laugh that made everyone around them smile. Sheppard glanced at them then back to Rodney. "How many times have you heard Beckett laugh since we got to Atlantis, Rodney?"

Rodney had to look away. The terror inside him threatened to choke him again but he wouldn't allow it. Couldn't allow it. He looked at the faces in the mess hall... even Kavanagh had someone to laugh with, to lean on. Elizabeth and Teyla were on the balcony, in the sun, both in lotus, knee to knee, meditating. They wore matching smiles and Rodney almost hated them for their peace, a peace he had thought he would never have.

"Come on." Sheppard stood and picked up his tray. "I can tell you're getting close to a McKay Meltdown and I think you'd rather have that in private."

"I am _not_..."

"C'mon, Rodney. This may be Sunday again but we've got work to do, remember?"

They picked up their trays and took them over to the bussing station and Rodney did his best not to look at anyone, not to see. If they managed to get back to their home reality, what would...

He turned when Sheppard touched his shoulder. After a second of hesitation, Sheppard grabbed him by the front of his shirt, dragged him over and kissed him, hard, on the mouth. Just like Rodney had seen it happen in the security vids. It was as good, as mind-blowing as he thought it would be, though he didn't have a clue how to respond to it.

When Sheppard ended the kiss (which had, somewhere in the middle of it, turned from hard to soft and gentle and open and Sheppard's mouth was sweet), Rodney opened eyes he didn't remember closing and stared. His lips were tingling and his dick seemed to find the whole thing rather appealing. Sheppard's face was an interesting study and Rodney wondered -- again -- how one face could show so many conflicting emotions. He'd always thought he was the one who wore his heart on his sleeve.

Sheppard started to move away and Rodney let him, wondering what his own expression was, wondering if it was as dazed as he felt. "A leap of faith?" he murmured, not even sure Sheppard could have heard him.

"Yeah," Sheppard replied.

Rodney nodded and together, they left the mess hall, heading for the suite they were supposed to be sharing. Perhaps domesticity would ease the ache he had in his chest, though he doubted it.

And when they got to the suite, Rodney realized after a quick look around that it looked like his bedroom from when he was a kid. His mother would come in and scream and he'd reluctantly shift piles around, most of them ending up under his bed. His mother wasn't there (thank God for small favors) but he could hear her screech in his head. "This? Is a mess," he said grimly.

Sheppard sighed heavily. "Yeah."

"I guess the place to start would be laundry. I'll clear my end--"

"It might be better if we just, you know, doubled up. Took it all together." Sheppard was doing that corner of the eye thing again with him, and Rodney grimaced.

"Yeah. Maybe." Maybe a lot of things would be better taken together. "Okay, how's this. I'll get clothing, you get stuff. Heap it into two piles, then we start the laundry and I'll help you go through stuff."

Sheppard gave him a surprised look. "Okay, I can do that."

Thank heavens for uniforms and for Ancient clothing cleaners -- he could do the entire mountain of clothing in two loads, have it sonically cleaned and ready for sorting and folding by the time they had the 'stuff' portion divvied out. It was so domestic and calming and Rodney found himself almost freaking out because he wasn't freaking out.

The memory of Sheppard's mouth on his burned in his head, like an image left too long on a CRT screen.

"Are these yours?" 

Sheppard looked up. "I think I can categorically state that I've never owned a pair of boxers with tiny pink... what are those? Hearts or flowers?"

"Oh." Yeah, they were Rodney's. Unfortunately.

"You know," Sheppard said, carefully separating blue t-shirts from black, "once we're done with this, we could move all of it to the other rooms." _If you want to_ went unstated but not unheard and Rodney's breath caught in his chest.

"Yeah, I guess we could," he said. 

"Or we could just stay here, together. There's more room here than in both our old rooms combined."

Rodney just stopped. His arms felt like molten lead and his head felt wrapped in cotton. He was so tired of having to _think_ , of having to be the genius in charge. "I thought you didn't move in together until after you became lovers," he said, his voice soft.

Sheppard swallowed hard. "Well, we've never been very good at following the rules."

"No. I guess not." He looked up at Sheppard, who was standing on the other side of the bed, the laundry heaped between them. "Do you want to go back?" he asked, and he knew the question meant more than just that. Do you want to go back -- to our reality, where we were scared and alone? Do you want to go back to before you kissed me in the mess hall? Do you want to go back to living separately, cold and solitary?

He had no idea what his face looked like, but Sheppard made a strangled sound in the back of his throat when he saw it. In three strides, he was around the bed and grabbing Rodney's head in his hands. "This is us," he growled, "this is us here or there and it doesn't fucking matter! It doesn't!" Then his mouth was back on Rodney's and rational thought took a header right out the window.

Rodney only vaguely remembered sweeping the clean clothing to the floor, getting out of his clothing and his shoes, crashing to the bed, his arms around Sheppard and Sheppard's around his. Their kisses, frantic and hungry, trying to make up for a lifetime of starvation in a single moment, blocked everything else out of his conscious mind. 

"Wait... Wait..." Sheppard ripped his mouth from Rodney's, his hands petting, soothing. "We have time..."

"No." Denied Sheppard's mouth, Rodney worked his way down, biting and nipping, licking broad swaths with his tongue, tasting everything he could reach. "There _is_ no more time, don't you get it?" He reached Sheppard's cock, which was like him, long, lean and hot, Rodney opened wide and swallowed it as best he could.

Sheppard yelped then moaned. "Christ, Rodney! Do you know, do you have any idea... how long I fantasized about your mouth, your mouth on me..." He dissolved into panting exhortations. "God. God. Suck me, Rodney... please... suck me... so... fucking good..."

Humming in pleasure -- he could almost come from hearing Sheppard's hoarse encouragement -- Rodney didn't try to draw it out. He wanted to taste Sheppard. He knew, in the back of his head, at any moment the alarm klaxon could go off, the Wraith could attack, they could both die, but _not now_. 

Curling up on himself, Sheppard came hard with a strangled yell, pouring himself down Rodney's throat in bitter ribbons then collapsing back to the bed. Rodney swallowed and swallowed, licking Sheppard's cock clean then moving up again, sliding up the rangy body until he reached Sheppard's head. "No time left at all," he murmured, kissing Sheppard; big, wet, sloppy kisses and Sheppard gave as good as he got. 

"Yes there is," Sheppard whispered into his mouth. "There's time. There's always time, right now. See? We've got the rest of our lives, Rodney," he said as he held Rodney's body close. "However long or short that is."

Carefully, Sheppard rolled them over so he was on top. Rodney could feel the aftershocks of his climax still shuddering through Sheppard's body and took obscure satisfaction from knowing he had caused it, knowing he had brought Sheppard over so fast, so... "Oh." 

Sheppard had been kissing down Rodney's body and had reached his nipples, which were two of his hottest buttons. "Like that?" Sheppard said, dragging his tongue over one nub.

"Hard... harder..." Rodney gasped. "I... I... oh!" Sheppard bit down on one while pinching the other and Rodney couldn't keep from arching up into the touch. 

"What do you want, Rodney?" Sheppard's voice was a sexy growl which nearly made Rodney come then and there.

"Any... anything..." Anything and everything, as long as Sheppard was doing it to him.

"I want to do everything to you," Sheppard whispered. His hands were busy touching and stroking and pinching, causing Rodney to move restlessly, arching and tensing. "I want to do everything I never thought I could do, never thought we could have. I want your mouth on me again; I want to fuck you and you to fuck me; I want to use every damn condom in both boxes until we have to go bare in each other." 

Rodney closed his eyes, whimpering as Sheppard's litany of wonderful, nasty things went on and on.

Still kissing and licking, Sheppard made it to Rodney's groin where his erection beat in time with his heart. "What do you want, Rodney?" he asked, petting Rodney's balls gently. "Tell me."

"I... I..." I want it all, Rodney thought, everything you said and more. "I want... I want you..." Only it wasn't exactly want, it was more like need, like starving and being set down in front of a feast. "Oh... suck me? Please? Suck me...?"

"I can do that." 

And Sheppard did, his mouth hot and wet and perfect, and Rodney had to arch, had to lift his hips off the bed, had to be held down by big, warm hands. It was perfect, and it was going to end... "It's a dream," Rodney gasped, unable to censor himself. "Nothing could be... so good... a dream... I... I must be on a hive ship... I'm... I'm cocooned and they're... oh, God! They're coming..."

With an obscene slurp, Sheppard lifted off Rodney's cock and leaned up to kiss him, deeply. "If you are, if that's where you are," he whispered, brokenly, "then I'm there too, Rodney. I'll never leave you behind. Trust me." 

And oh, Rodney did, Rodney knew to trust Sheppard, it was one of the few constants in his life. "I do, I do," he moaned as Sheppard swallowed him down, sucking the life out of him through his dick. "I do..." Rodney gasped one more time as he got to the edge and just leapt off, flying.

* * *

  
Epilogue:

Back in Atlantis, back to the same old mess hall with the same old people and a not-so-same-old ZedPM. The Wraith were gone for the time being, there were dozens of new faces and actually decent food for a change. With the promise of the Daedalus making regular supply runs, helping them when needed, life looked to become pretty damn good. Sometime in the past year, however, Earth had become a place they visited because they had to, not because it was home. Atlantis was home.

John sat down opposite him, plopping his tray down. "Did you see Radek and Carson?"

Rodney grinned. "Yeah. There's a pair that aren't going to come up for air for a while." He dug into his potatoes. "We're going to be running some diagnostics on the Daedalus this afternoon," he said with his mouth full. "Hermoid was making noises about trying to interface the jumpers' cloaking technology with their shield."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," John said around a mouthful of (maybe real) turkey sandwich.

"Ha ha. Anyway, I thought you might be interested in what we find out. The Daedalus..." Rodney stopped in mid-stream, freezing into place as something occurred to him.

"What?" John asked, frowning.

"I just realized. The Daedalus." Rodney swallowed his food and blinked at John. "We could use it to get back, you know, to Planet Boring. We might actually find out what happened, might actually be able to..." Get back. Not go home, get back. Back to the reality in which they had been born. Not home.

John's eyes narrowed and his body went still. "You know, I had a talk with Radek about that, a few months back. He told me the odds were pretty well stacked against us. I don't understand all the physics, obviously, but can you guarantee you do?"

"I..."

"Can the famous McKay brain assure me that we won't be walking through the stargate to our deaths? And if we go, can you assure me the 'us' that came from here will come back here? That we won't leave this reality in the lurch?" John's voice was almost harsh, for all it was pitched very low.

Rodney swallowed and looked down. "No. I can't guarantee it. I know what Radek said and he's right. The laws of physics are immutable, not even I can change that." 

"Then why offer it, Rodney, if it's a stupid, possibly suicidal idea? Why?" John's face and voice were intense and focused and Rodney realized, finally, he wasn't just asking about the reality swap.

Forcing his gaze back up, Rodney said, "Because I know how much it must bother you, how much it means to you. Because I know you don't like to leave people behind. That's why I'm making the offer, John. I'm... that's why." Because I love you, he added in his head, and want to do what you want me to do. Neither one had said it, but the unspoken words existed anyway, a probability wave approaching unity.

They stared at each other for a long minute while the hustle-bustle of Atlantis hummed around them. People talking, laughing, loving. Family.

His grandmother had always told Rodney, home is where the heart is.

Rodney blinked, breaking the moment. "You going to eat your Jell-O?"

Slowly, John's face melted into a bittersweet smile. "Nah. You can have it."

end


End file.
